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Megean's Story

Every story is unique and different and every story could help reach someone else, making them not feel so alone in their journey. We are honored to be able to share the stories of those that have written in to share the most vulnerable, painful time of their lives.

Megean, thank you for sharing your story with us and everyone who may read it. We try to keep these fairly anonymous if requested so, if you know her personally, please refrain from sharing any personal details in the comments. Thank you!

And as always, please share your story with us!

Reflecting on the last 2 years and sometimes, I still can’t believe my daughter is in my arms.

When I had my first miscarriage, it was quite traumatic. We found out at 8 weeks there was no heartbeat despite me being nauseous 24/7 still, had to have a D&C a week later and then had to have another surgery 3 months after that to remove a piece of placenta that was left behind and had embedded itself into my uterine wall. Then after having my second miscarriage and subsequently finding out about my MTHFR gene mutation, I felt as though I may never have another healthy pregnancy. This all happened when I was 32-33 so I knew time was ticking and I felt like I was running out of time. I also went through severe post partum depression and anxiety after my first miscarriage, as well as post partum OCD, which was so hard.

When I finally got pregnant for the third time in April of 2018, I was petrified. I was afraid to get excited because I didn’t know if I’d ever get to meet this baby. I was also afraid to voice my fears because then that may make them come true. It was a long 9 months of anxiety, stress, fear and nausea/all day sickness.

When we kept passing all the milestones and she was still growing and healthy, I started to gain hope. Then when I ended up with gestational diabetes and eventually choleastasis of pregnancy, which both carry a risk of stillbirth, I was in panic mode. I wanted everything about this pregnancy and delivery to be unmedicated and 100% natural, yet I ended up on insulin injections and had to have another c-section due to a failed VBAC attempt. But when my daughter was finally here and in my arms and completely healthy, none of that mattered.

I still get so emotional thinking about what we went through to get her here, and how I will always wonder who my other babies would have been, but I cannot imagine having a baby other than Aryah. The amount of healing my heart has done since welcoming her on 12/06/2018 is indescribable.

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